


Our place in the stars

by Florchis



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, FitzSimmons Secret Santa, Pre-Movie(s), interstellar au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:32:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9087022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florchis/pseuds/Florchis
Summary: INTERSTELLAR AU“Fitz.” She says without bothering to get up and sit straight. ”Fitz, let’s study astrophysics.”“Okay.” He says without a second thought, because he is only half-listening, and because of course that’s Jemma Simmons’s idea of “taking a break”, and because he would follow her to the end of the universe and beyond.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rocknrollravenclaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocknrollravenclaw/gifts).



> Prompt: Interstellar AU: Fitz and Simmons are sent into space, through a wormhole, with the task of finding a new planet for the people back on earth
> 
> This is... not exactly that. I had a hard time trying to write them going into space, and I couldn't do it, so I decided to write them *before* going into space. I'm truly sorry. I hope you like it anyway.

 

_Love isn’t something we invented, it’s observable, powerful. Maybe it’s some evidence, some artifact of a higher dimension that we can’t consciously perceive._

* * *

They both are very very young when they meet, but she makes Fitz feel even younger than he is.

Fitz is used to boredom when he is around other people; people that usually doesn’t share his interests and doesn’t understand him when he tries to explain them, and that makes him feel frustrated and angry and very very alone. (And _so._ _very. bored_. Really, how can people even _breath_ without understanding of basic physics? He can’t get his mind around it.)

But it’s different with Jemma Simmons, because she is the one with the _right_ to get bored _around him_ ; she had the best training anyone can have, she is obsessed with getting better at everything she can handle, and her IQ numbers would probably put more than one Nobel Prize winner to tears (no, no, Fitz doesn’t like to fantasize about that when he’s feeling bitter about life and needs a good smile, why would he?). And Fitz, who’s shy, and lonely and not used to being around people his own age, doesn’t shine his brightest when he’s around her, to be quite honest.

(It doesn’t help matters that she is also _very very pretty_.)

Jemma Simmons is better than anyone Fitz has ever met, and he acts like a moron around her, because he doesn’t know how to do beter. These are all facts and, as a scientist, Fitz feels very secure relying on facts. He could move on knowing all this, but all these facts had merged together to give an unexpected result, that was unpredictable and still rests inexplicable: Jemma Simmons is not bored by him.

(Or at least she is very very good at hiding it. Fitz would take it either way, because the universe is giving him a chance, and he will do his best to not waste it.)

For the first month or so, Fitz feels like he’s twelve and five inches tall when he’s with her, but she looks over his math with no confusion and no condescension but what seems like genuine interest, and she is patient with him when he stutters, and she laughs at his timid luke-warm jokes, and she shares her work with him and, really, that’s the best gift he can think of.

By the end of their first semester together, nobody on campus can think of them as anything but a fused entity. Fitz grumps about it every time he gets a chance, mostly because it makes Simmons laugh, and  (being truly un-scientific like) he is sure that that is how a star would sound like if it were represented by sound instead of by light.

Simmons has always been fascinated by the universe, and even though it’s fun and super educational when they share their respective disciplines with the other (biology and biochemistry for Simmons; physics and mechanical engineering for Fitz), somehow is even better when they try to figure out together something that touches an inner cord inside them both, even if it’s in an amateur way (as much “amateur” as two people who have three PhDs between them can be, with Fitz’s professional-like telescope and Simmons’s thorough research).

And then they are twenty-one years old and Fitz is growing even more awkward in the longer limbs he doesn’t know where they came from and the summer is more torrid than either of them can truly stand and Simmons is getting more freckles than Fitz thought were even possible, and everything is just _more more more,_ when Simmons has The Idea.

She is laying with her head upside-down on Fitz’s ratty-actually-truly-disgusting couch because that way she gets more air from the fan or so she says, and she is talking about wanting to take a break from research because she needs a vacation or something like that. (To be quite honest, Fitz usually listens to her with something closer to rapture than attention, but it’s hard to be that attentive when her legs are on the air like that and it’s easier to look at her bellybutton than at her face. He is only human, after all _._ )

“Fitz.” She says without bothering to get up and sit straight. ”Fitz, let’s study astrophysics.”

“Okay.” He says without a second thought, because he is only half-listening, and because _of course_ that’s Jemma Simmons’s idea of “taking a break”, and because he would follow her to the end of the universe and beyond.

* * *

The change is easier for him than for her, mostly because he is a man (he would like to think that _that_ is _not_ the part that makes the difference even bigger, but people are assholes and he won’t deny that) with vast training in math and physics who can build almost anything with his bare hands, while she is a woman who can describe in her sleep more bugs than he ever knew existed (and who could also kill anyone on fifteen different ways with the contents of any of her lab drawers, but she doesn’t brag about that. She can be dangerous, and maybe it is not who she _wants_ to be, but it is who she is). Of course, that only spurs her on; she is the kind of woman that would rather die than take a step back.  

Simmons started studying astrophysics mostly out of boredom and fascination, but she keeps on going out of spite.

Fitz started because of her, and keeps on going because of her. She leads and he follows, and he is more than satisfied with that tacit arrangement.

That arrangement also means that he is the one in custody of their rational decisions, and when he has to almost drag Jemma out of a classroom or she will likely throw a glove to the professor’s face, he knows that they have had enough.

“I’m not cutting short my third PhD just because the professors who aren’t sexist assholes are just plain out dumb, Fitz!”

“You are not cutting anything short, you are gonna become Dr. Dr. Dr. Simmons and then rub it on their simplistic faces, but in order to do that, _I need you to not kill anyone_. Do you think you can do that for me?”

“... yes. But only if you find me something actually interesting to put my mind on.”

“That I can do.”  

* * *

 It’s not easy to find a project that will give them enough credits to cut short the more disgusting classes and that is also up to the standards of one Jemma Simmons.

It’s not the same that have Jemma consult on one of his projects or viceversa, and Fitz’s maybe more nervous than he should. He doesn't want to disappoint her- and he doesn’t want her to go mental on some of their professors if she has the free time- but he also feels like this is The Major Test they need to pass. She is his partner and he tells it to everyone who’s willing to listen, but they haven’t worked together yet in a project that is official research or development, and not something they fooled around with because they felt like it. He knows already that they both are good at stimulating the other’s thought process, and, more often than not, one of them offers a new point of view the other hadn’t thought of. But working together in a project especially chosen by them is a different business, mostly because they will need to agree in order to move forward, and they will need to share a working space and they will be spending even more time together, and sometimes it’s better to not mix business and pleasure.

Fitz is terrified of the possibilities, and he tries not to think of the possible good outcomes, because he doesn’t want to be disappointed when they have a fall out. But he made her a promise, and he will see it through even if it means the end of the best thing in his life, because then they weren’t meant to be anyway.  

It’s not, then, that he doesn’t want to find a project to work in with her, it’s just that she is the smartest person he knows, and she will find everything so damn boring (and he can’t even blame her). He takes his time and when the right project finds him it almost feels like providence. Except Fitz doesn’t believe in providence, and he does believe instead in the power of the cosmos calling to them.

Building drones, for him. Sensors to be calibrated, for Simmons. A mission in space to send the drones to, for the conflicted relationship they both have with the astrophysics department. It’s actually truly perfect.

As he probably should have expected, Simmons is Not Impressed.

She reads till the last page of the project, raises her eyes, fixes him with a stern look, and starts reading from the beginning all over again.

“I can’t tell if you are being soft on purpose because you are just trying to keep me from murdering a professor, or if you actually are that oblivious to think this project isn’t shady. ‘Build me a thing to send to space with as little information as possible’ could be code for ‘Build me a thing that will never go more than 30 miles away from earth, but that will wreak havoc here, _on_ earth’.”

“They are just drones to retrieve data, Simmons. They are not asking for nuclear weapons.”

“Almost anything can be as dangerous as a nuclear weapon in the wrong hands. Christ, I should have made you take that class on Engineering Ethics.”

“Mind you, my work ethic is impeccable!”

“Yes, it is, but you also are too good for this rotten world, and maybe learning about a couple of awful cases would have opened your eyes a little bit.”

Fitz knows she is being quite condescending, but he still flushes at the compliment.

“What do you think we should do, then?”

He knows maybe too well the dangerous sparkle in her eyes while she reaches for her Special Highlighters Case.

“We are going to tear this thing apart, and we are going to get the answers for each and every suspicious things we find, and if we consider that answers satisfactory, we are going to accept this project, because this could be big, and nobody is going to be bigger than us, Fitz.”  

* * *

For a split second, Fitz starts doubting himself: maybe he shouldn’t have told her anything, maybe he should just said that they weren’t fit for this project- like anybody would believe that, especially Jemma. But even if maybe it wasn’t the _best_ decision, it is what it is, and Fitz knows it was the _right_ decision because there is no way he could have taken this burden all by himself.

He had told her about the project the minute he came back, because he never kept a- conscious- secret from her, and he doesn’t think he’d know how to do it. She was shocked, of course, but there is no time in Jemma Simmons’s hectic schedule for freaking out or mourning, so they put themselves to work immediately (because there was no way they would refuse a job like that). They work better when they can push the feelings aside and focus on the empirical, on the science, on the now and here.   

They had been brainstorming the design for the drones for about four hours before Fitz started seeing black dots on the edge of his vision and he decreed that they needed a much deserved break. It’s exhilarating but also too much dissociation-inducing to be thinking too long and too hard about what makes life on earth possible and even pleasurable. Simmons suggested they went to the roof of his apartment, because that way they still could watch the stars and keep their mind on the subject, while relaxing a little. Somehow, her hand has found his on the dark cold floor, and he hangs on tight, because if the world is about to end, he will hang on to the only person in his world that has always been constant.        

“Did they really need to choose a biblical name?” It’s Simmons’s first comment after a long time of silence, and Fitz doesn’t know if he feels like laughing or like crying.

“I think it’s fitting. Lazarus came back from the death, after all.”

“Yes, but he had to die first.” Her voice cracks at the end, a too heavy meaning behind the death talk.

“It’s strange, isn’t it? To be told that this world is dying. Not only because it’s the place we live in, but also because it’s the only way we have always known it. If this is dying this is like, the norm, for us.”

She is quiet for a long time, and Fitz almost turns around to look at her face. Her hand is freezing in his, and his heart is almost beating out of his chest, the exhaustion, and the grief, and the fear, all finally catching up with him.     

“I think we should, um, in this very particular situation that we are in, now, we should not forget about the First Law of Thermodynamics.”

“Um. What?”

“Because… because it’s fitting, Fitz. No energy in the universe is created and none is destroyed.”Her voice is getting higher, like it always does when she is excited about something, and Fitz feels his throat growing thicker. “And we are not talking about this planet going down in flames, we are talking about life on this planet slowly, painfully dying. It’s obvious that can not and will not happen. Humankind is going to find another home and the energy in the universe is going to remain constant, and we’re going to be a big part of that.”

It’s not… it’s not actually scientifically accurate, it’s just her innate optimism and her best intentions on giving hope, and probably that’s why he kisses her.

He swallows a sort of strangled gasp from Jemma’s mouth, and even though she is surprised- he is a little bit surprised himself-, she kisses him back. The position is awkward, so they both get up to their knees to keep on kissing, both of them holding the other’s face in their hands.

Kissing her wasn’t a planned thing, most like the natural flow of time, like the thing he was always meant to do. Except that Fitz doesn’t believe in fate and instead believes strongly in will. He believes in trust and in the partnership they have built together, and in the strong beating of his heart and in the butterflies in his chest and in the utter, intense feeling that this is _right_. And, mostly, he believes in her.

“I don’t want you to to be kissing me because the world is ending.” It’s the first thing Jemma says to him after breaking the kiss, with her eyes still closed, and there is nothing Fitz has desired more than her in that moment.

“It’s not because the world is ending, I kissed you because I wanted to, and because you are my partner, and I want you to be my partner in everything, even though the world is ending.” He didn’t know how true that statement was until he said it out loud. It’s only right, it’s only natural, it’s a thing that can be proven by empirical evidence: she is perfect for him in work partnership, in friendship, why wouldn’t she be perfect for him in love?

“Do you think this is the right moment for this?” She asks even though she is already leaning her head against his shoulder.

“It’s the moment we got, Simmons.” He goes to put his arm around her shoulders, when the panic gets the best of him. “Or you, um, you don’t want this? Because we can do as if nothing had happened if you, um, I mean, if that-, if that is what you want.” He says it so quickly that he doesn’t even give her the chance to answer before he panics even further. “Because _you_ never would have kissed _me_ , right?”

She raises her head and he prepares himself for the inevitable blow of rejection, but it never comes. After a few seconds of torturous waiting, he turns his head to look at her, and she is looking straight at him with a very intense gaze.

“No.” She finally says after they make eye-contact, and he can feel his heart plummeting to the floor. “No, I don’t think so. You know why?” He doesn’t answer because he doesn’t _want_ to hear her reason, but she keeps on going anyway. “Because I didn’t think of it. But now that it happened, and I want to thank you for _making_ it happen, I know it’s right with my mind and I feel it’s right with my heart. Like I didn’t need to think about this, and you know how I am about overthinking, because everything about us has always been natural, and this is just something that was waiting to happen.”

He can’t find his voice for a moment, but Jemma doesn’t seem to mind because she is still smiling softly at him.

“I know exactly what you mean.”

* * *

If Fitz thought that discovering- or better yet, _acknowledging_ \- his romantic feelings for her will make things easier, he was nothing but wrong.

(To be quite honest, the problems don’t actually come from his relationship with Simmons, but it sure as hell makes _everything else_ more complicated.)

The romantic relationship didn’t affect their working relationship, and they completed the drones in record time. Fitz knows that he did it in record time because he wanted to take this dreadful idea out of his head as soon as possible, and he is pretty sure that Jemma did it in record time because she is a compulsive perfectionist. And then, a month after they turned in the final drones, when he was finally starting to enjoy life again- if there was nothing but fateful days ahead of them, he’d make the most of what he had left-, everything tumbles down.

He feels like he was taken to an insane world, or like he is drowning, or even worse, like he’s choking on air, incapable of absorbing the much-needed oxygen. He is living in a too-long hallucination, and maybe, just maybe, talking with Jemma will break it off.

It doesn’t. Simmons looks at him with big bright eyes, but she is a terrible liar, and Fitz sees the resignation and, oddly, the fire behind her eyes.

“Did you, did you know something about this, Jemma?”

She shakes her head.

“No, I didn’t _know_ anything, but I _did imagine_ something of the like. I supposed that they would want you for your expertise in caring for the drones and recollecting their data, and I _knew_ that you wouldn’t want to go.” He is looking at her dumbfounded and she inhales very deeply before speaking again. “And that is why I decided that I will go.”

If he thought that he was living in a fantasy from hell before, there is no words for what he is feeling now, and he doesn’t even stop to think before answering her.

“Jemma, you _can’t_ go.”

It is, _of course,_ the wrong thing to say.

“Don’t even think that you get to decide what I can and can’t do, Leopold Fitz. And even though they asked you, know that I can get the job done just as fine.”

“Nononono, no, no, I know, believe me, _I know._ What I was meaning to say is that I think you _shouldn’t_ go, that is a bad idea, I mean, there are _reasons_ why _I_ don’t want to go, Jemma.”

There is a stern look that obscures her otherwise soft features, and a dead weight in his heart telling him that he approached this in the worst possible way.

“And which are those reasons?”

There are a lot of things he could- and probably should- say: that it’s a dangerous mission, that he- or she, for that matter- isn’t actually trained for this, that this will use up an entire decade of his life, if not more. There are a lot of things he could say, but he doesn’t say them because he realizes that, after all, the only reason that truly mattered to him was that he didn’t want to be apart from her.

So, instead of answering her question, he takes in a hot second probably the most important decision of his life.

“I will go with you.”

It’s nice to know that he is able to leave Jemma Simmons speechless, at least sometimes.

 _“What?_ Why would you do that? If you don’t want to go alone, Fitz, why would you-?”

“Because of that. I don’t want to go _alone._ But for you, with you? I’d go anywhere, even to the edges of the universe.”

(“This is supposed to be a one-man mission, I’m sorry, but we can’t not waste the resources in sending two people when-”

“Where are you going to find not one, but a _half dozen_ scientists that can do what we can achieve when combined?”)

(“We can’t send people with attachments in missions like this one. It’s just too risky.”

“In case you didn’t notice, we are a dynamic duo, so take it or leave it.”)  

* * *

“Go for main engine start. T minus ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, main engine start, four, three, two, one. Booster ignition and.”

* * *

_Love is the one thing we are capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space._

_Maybe we should trust that, even if we can’t understand it yet._


End file.
